It is a sad week in our family. My husband’s aunt Beverly passed away from cancer on Sunday, her funeral is this week. It was far too soon for such a vibrant, energetic, life-loving person to go.
Our last visit with her was about two weeks ago. During our time with her she told us a powerful story that perfectly captures why it is so important to make other people matter in your life.
When she was first sick a friend asked her what he could for her. As was her nature and habit, she said she was fine and that there was nothing he could do. Bev expected him to say something like, “OK, well, just let me know if there’s some way I can help.” Instead, he called her selfish. She was shocked. I’m the sick one, she thought, how can I be selfish? He read her mind and said, “You’re selfish because you are not giving me any way to feel better by helping you.”
We matter when we help other people. We can help other people matter more by giving them meaningful things to do. Shutting them out by saying, “I’ve got this,” is basically telling people that they don’t matter, that they have nothing to offer and no gifts to give.
The next time your organization sends out an update on a program or a press release or a request for donations, think about adding specific, meaningful things they can do to matter more. Not window dressing, not a vote that won’t be counted or just saying yes to something you’ve already decided. Give them something important to do to support your efforts – send an email to five friends to raise awareness of our issue, post a review on Yelp, bring toiletries to a shelter, come and answer phones for a night. They’ll feel better and your cause will be better.